dating.

I'm sure you all know exactly what i'm talking about. It's the thing that all fathers seem to despise and the thing that all teenage girls (most of them anyway) love to talk about. Dating. I remember when I was little, I always had the image in my head when I was older and I'd be swept off my feet by that boy. And the rule was always that I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16. But now, it's so weird to imagine that if the opportunity presented itself, I would have that privilege. Even if that is the case, I personally know that right now isn't a good time for me to be in a relationship. I know that with a full heart and try to live with that in mind every day, but it's hard at times. Most of my friends are seniors and lately it seems that within our circle of friends, love has been in the air... For everyone except me. It's especially hard when it's supposed to be a 'girls' night, but they're all texting there boys, reading cute texts that they've sent aloud, all the while, I get a text from my mom saying I need to be home within the hour. Sound romantic? It's not. This topic has always been something i've been passionate about. The idea of an actual courtship is so foreign to most people these days, and I find that so sad. Being involved in one night stands and affairs seems so much more common than the idea of having an actual relationship; the action of getting to know one another, learning to love each other and staying pure before marriage. I've seen how making that mistake that takes a toll on people one too many times, and that's something I don't even want to feel. The utter hurt within there soul and the pain that he or she just can't seem to escape. I made the decision a long time ago that I would remain pure before marriage, no matter the cost or circumstance. But after seeing how easily ones mind is swayed, even if he or she may be a God-loving, God-seeking follower of Christ, I refuse to believe that making a commitment is enough. Temptation is inevitable in some situations, but I will not put myself into those situations. In those cases, Satan is looking for any opportunity to put a seed of doubt in my head, and I refuse to let him. When I made that promise years ago, not only did I promise to stay physically pure, but mentally pure as well. I will not give over my feelings to a boy in high school. And I feel like in saying this, I may come off super confident, but let me tell you, it's hard. I try as hard as I can to surround myself with good, Christian influences at school, but let's face it, i'm not going to always be around those types of people. And when i'm not, guess what happens? Satan attacks. I've had conversations with girlfriends of mine about different guys at school, and you know what every single one of them says, every single time? 'Taylor, you're such a prude. If you think he's cute, just sleep with him.' I refuse to live like that, living in our society's way, because you know what? Living the way God wants me to live may cause a little heartache, but living the way the world wants me to live, i'm putting my soul on the line, and that's something I refuse to do.